It is my birthday today and so I thought I might write a passage from my book about getting older….sigh, I am still listening for answers….page 88.
“Turning fifty was a destination for me. I was under the impression that as soon as I arrived at Fifty I would go up a hill and look down upon wisdom and respect beaming back at me. I imagined that all of my experience would “come to a head” and I would understand my journey so far. I expected memories and insight to now be at the forefront of my mind and I would make some sense of all my mistakes and wrong turns. I even fantasized that I’d find forgiveness easy and patience in ample supply.
I sat upon the hill for several weeks after the main even and listened in the wind. I watched for any movement around me, thinking, and “Oh here it comes!” Here comes all that I expected and it will “well up” inside me, and life and this confusing mess will all make sense. I half expected to understand poverty and the reason for war. I wanted to finally understand why people are so cruel and find it so hard to be nice to each other.
Well three weeks went by and still, “I’ve got nothing!” Nothing to answer my many questions or explain the reason for the hurts I have experienced. Not one word to explain the grief that I feel in my heart over lost loved ones. There is nothing to explain why my father left and why it took him so long to come back. I yearned to hear just one explanation of the purpose of death and sickness of the young. What about injustice?Prejudice? Famine? World hunger? WWII for “heaven sakes”, what about those things?
I called up to God and I asked. “So when do I get the talk? When are you going to explain to me all of these things I’ve pondered all of my life? When am I going to understand why people are so mean? I’ve waited now for a long time and I don’t want to wait until my arrival in Heaven. Come on God, just a word or two, some kind of hint or a sign? Can you hear me God?
I listened and waited and I ask God for patience as I strained to hear anything. Anything possibly or remotely connected to the God I’ve known all my life. Finally after a long pause…the answer I got, the words that rang out, were,.. “keep listening”. “Keep Listening!” Not exactly what I’d expected to hear. But after pondering my special message, I came to see the wisdom in those words.”
What have you learned in your many years on this earth? What wisdom could you impart upon us that would make our lives a bit easier, or possibly finally make some sense?
In my book I refer to Ecclesiastes 1: 1-11. and 2:24-3:8 same book. Please “Give it a go”….